Heartstone
by RestlessRenegade
Summary: That necklace I wear presses against my heart of stone.   The innermost thoughts of Yukina during the series' progression.


**Heartstone**

**Koorime Island, many years ago**

They tell me I am different.

This is hardly news to me; from the very beginning of my life, I've known that I am different from the rest of them. My heart is not encased in ice; I _feel_, so much that sometimes I think I will burst. The others claim not to have emotions, or at least not so many.

But I do. And this is only one reason why I am different. Even surrounded by my kind—by my sisters—I am alone. My mother is dead. My true sisters—if I have any—have seen fit to hide themselves from me. Always, there is a gaping hole in my chest; I feel as though I am incomplete.

The most telling evidence of all is that I want to leave this icy, sterile, stagnant island. The others have assured me that this is not normal. All of my friends have expressed their desires to remain isolated forever; to stay locked away from the world where we are safe and can live peacefully.

But this is not living.

I want to see green things grow; to meet others—humans and demons alike—who can tell me beautiful stories. I want to fee the warmth of the sun, and see the ocean. I want to feel _alive. _

They will say little of my family. They told me that my mother was executed for procreating with a male demon, which is forbidden to my kind. They failed to deny that this demon might be my father. They kept me because I was female, I know; had I been male, I would have been banished forever. But I am not, though sometimes I wish I were. I hate it here. _Hate_. It is such a strong emotion—one that these ice women will never know.

They will never know the power of my hatred.

**Tarukane's Stronghold, several years ago**

Two years. Encased in steel and talismans. Tortured. Studied. Broken.

And yet I would choose this prison over my island. They cannot know me here. The human who keeps me does not understand me, or my mind. I have secrets. I have freedom.

Funny, how being held captive for so long could give me such liberty. It is so warm here. I can see trees and grass, and the wildlife beyond my cage. It is beautiful.

**Koorime Island, several years ago**

I have returned to my sisters. Nothing has changed since my disappearance. They give their condolences to my pain and suffering, but I know that they believe I have been dealt justice. After all, I did leave the island before I was kidnapped. I do not care. The outside world calls to me—and the people I met there, in particular. The one with the red eyes . . .

When I stopped him from murdering my captor, I looked into his eyes and I saw someone I know deeply, almost at a base level. I looked into his eyes, and they were familiar. Of course, they reminded me of my kin—such unique coloring and shape could hardly be ignored. But there was more to it. I saw his soul, and it was like coming home. In that second, I wasn't alone.

I thought he was my father.

His smooth rejection of my timid advances to get to know him sent me scurrying away to the person who needed me most—Kazuma. My emotional distraught (which I hid easily, thanks to my heritage) made me feel love for the human. I cannot say whether it will last. But, his name flows through my lips—whispered, always—as I fall asleep at night. And I remember Hiei's eyes well.

I learned, upon coming home, who he is. He is not my father; I should have known that from his age. I was blinded by the striking similarities. But this news is hardly a disappointment.

I have a brother.

**Hanging Neck Island, two months later**

I did not enjoy lying to Botan, but I did find it necessary. She and the others will not appreciate hearing the truth. I told them that I was given permission to leave Koorime Island to look for my brother.

This statement is so false that I do not know how to begin. My kin does not care who my brother is, or if I find him. I left Koorime without permission, and with no intention of returning soon. And, perhaps most shockingly, I already know who my brother is, and have no need to look for him.

I will watch him, Kazuma, and their friends fight for their lives and help any way I can. And perhaps when this tournament is over, I will present Hiei with a tear gem and ask for his forgiveness.

Then I will not be alone.

**Genkai's Temple, several months later**

He is gone. He left without telling me his true identity—the identity that I know so well, but that he keeps shrouded in mystery for, probably, my sake.

I gave him my tear gem, and called him brother. That minute felt so right; as though I had a real family for once, even if he didn't know it. Now that he is gone, I will lick my wounds, and live alongside these humans whom I have become so fond of.

When he returns—and I know he will—I pray that he will be unchanged, but for one detail.

I pray that he will love me.

_terminus_


End file.
